I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
two words...techno handjob
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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