is your mom at the bar?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
