piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
only you would photoshop your dick
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
