You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
