NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
