if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think your dad took our porno
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
