RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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