I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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