Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
