i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Randomize
