JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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