Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
