i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
