Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The feeling are messing with the penis
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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