plz talk dirty to me
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
