You're completely useless in the revolution.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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