he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
