i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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