Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
