My liver just broke up with me...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
