She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Someone signed my nipple.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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