I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
