It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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