i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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