brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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