Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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