Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
