Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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