he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
