last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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