Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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