TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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