Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
