so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
