I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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