belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
