im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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