Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
