Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
