...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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