Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
