Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
love makes seman taste better
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
