Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
