think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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