There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
