Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
