I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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