Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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