Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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