Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
