just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
are you still at the devil's house?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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