brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
